-this is on a blog entry

but most people dont read

so im putting it out there twice-

whats really fucking with me

my birthday is tomorrow

and peoples concern at this point seems minimal

i mean some kids are at least mentioning it

but that only carries you so far you know

im hoping something good goes down

but i doubt to the highest point of doubt right now

thats sad but whatever

friends

people that should be there for me

but some of them sell you out

use you

fued,lie,cheat

and some you just want to do something they never will

not like sexual

but is it hard to drop a line saying hey mike i thought about

you...i know times are hard but i want to let you know im there

for you

or a phone call with the same message

or someone on the other line saying hey come by and hang

do i do anything harmful, no mike likes to sit and watch

all im saying is the world is getting untolorable

having crushes or other affections towards another person

but having to keep everything low key

or bottled up

because you dont want to ruin a thing

or because you know your nothing

but i know that having that significant other would at least kill

some stress

yet women want there scene fags or other material bitches

my brother seems to be pissing down my throat

and it really is kicking my ass

cause i need that one person to turn to

and hes folded out of my game

but at least i can say he is growing up to his own mold

and i dont like the way its going

my step father has entered back in my life

and i dont like him

he is the impitimy of the word worthless

lets talk about fathers

my real one tried to get back into contact

man i dont owe you shit

and i dont want your shit

so please take the same exit you took when you left me the first

time you puke...

my job search

is failing

people dont like honest workers

jobs/employment tend to like women with tits

or the lazy half witted men that steal,or take advantage of

everything

its a spineless world i walk among

but i have a decent mind

so i have to weed out the meanies

sorry this one cant be as spirtual

and philosophical as id usually do

but i know no one reads it anyway

or takes to heart true pain

and it is valid that i have food,shelter, and water

the needs in life

my health isnt good but not poor

so i guess i should count those as something more than the basics

mike

some positives

+Women and Children Die Firstand God Save Us from

Remembering Never

+ Rap cds.. including new scrappy on the way.. but that New Joc

City by Yung Joc has me occupied for now..

+my little band project eases the steady flow of bullshit in the

mind highway

+my momma

+and the very few if any supporters